i am but not

maybe someone feels this way:

i am restless, but i am supposed to rest.

i am anxious, but i am supposed to trust.

i am frustrated, but i am not supposed to complain.

i am skeptical, but i am not supposed to argue.

i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, but i am to be quiet.

i want to flail my arms and kick the sun, but i am to be still.

i am supposed to listen, but i can't get my fingers out of my ears.

maybe im trying too hard to feel happy

instead of understanding joy and contentment.