Ben and I have essentially decided to go to Grace Center Church in Franklin, where James and Abby are the Sr. High Pastors. We individually felt God wanted us there, and we confirmed the feeling yesterday.
I now look forward to going to Monday night young adults fellowship, "Emanate," led by Allyn and A.J. Jones.
It's hard to imagine myself in high school, going to Evangelical Christian School and Riveroaks Reformed Presbyterian Church, ever attending, ever wanting to attend, a church as "charismatic" as Grace Center: teaching about "The Anointing," healing the sick, getting "words of knowledge," raising my hands in worship, etc.
Really? Am I really "that" girl now? (or at least becoming "that" girl?) I see now that these things are hardly a choice; they come when your idea of the Holy Spirit changes, when you understand that he really does dwell in you, speaks to you, gives you overwhelming feelings of joy and grace. Not that he didn't before, I just didn't receive it the same way.
I would never change my highly indoctrinated younger years (part of me really misses it) but the gradual change from that "me" to the "me" that actually believes the Holy Spirit heals people everyday through those in whom he dwells, is an amazing growth.
It makes me so excited that I want to tell all the Christians I know, get them in the same mindset (thought I know not everyone is destined to think exactly as I do, thank goodness) because I see what an incredible transformation that could take place within the Christian community; what a change we could bring to America's idea of Christianity.
And it makes me more excited to share Jesus with nonbelievers. I just have a different take on it now than I have before. I actually feel more confident in telling people, more directly filled with joy and enthusiasm when it comes to exclaiming the greatness of God. (It's great when you can tell someone how great something is and not have a ping in the back of your mind, asking you if you really believe that).
I still take what's thrown at me with a grain of salt, but I know that the Holy Spirit has so much more for us than we could ever know or understand.
Last night as I lay in bed, waiting to fall asleep, I felt a joy and peace that I don't know if I've ever felt about the Trinity.
I found myself smiling and wanting to jump out of bed in worship or in proclamation of Jesus to everyone I know.
The power of words and the reality of spiritual warfare seems more alive to me than ever before. I've felt the depths of the dark side of the spiritual world, heavy on my body and mind, but I now see more brightly than ever the side of light.
Jesus' name is power, and the angels are probably baffled at our indifference and apathy.
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2 comments:
AUDREY!!! That's so awesome! I'm really proud of all that you and Ben have been doing together to really seek after God in your relationship. It's really exciting to see someone come alive again with the joy of the goodness of God. Just reading this at work has filled me with joy too! I remember those days at your house trying to convince about healing, etc. HA HA. Wow, God's good. I'm glad He did it, and not me.
-James
Stumbled across your blog via Ben's blog/facebook.....
As I'm sure you know, I grew up in a very similar environment, what with ECS and Advent Presbyterian Church ;) And I, too, would never want to change that about my past, but it's so cool to see the gradual transformation that happened in me happen to other ppl from the same background. I never saw myself as 'that girl' either and was even highly offended by a lot of what I experienced at GC just before and all throughout my first year of being married.
All that to say-I'm super glad we've reconnected and our paths have crossed again--especially in this context!
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