i like to pretend like i know what i'm doing.
i like to pretend like i'm busy, like the world will pause for me.
i like to pretend like anything i do matters.
i like to pretend that my life has meaning.
But most of all, i like to pretend like i'm pretending that this is all for nothing.
Because not matter how hard i smash him down, the Holy Spirit always manages to get his word in.
Shouting, though i usually hear it as a whisper, that it's not a lie, that the plans he has for me are great, that he will give me the desires of my heart, that i must wait on the Lord, that i must rest in him, be still and know him.
i can't shut him out, not this time.
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